Fires Creek

by Graciela Valdes

Whew! What an experience!

I was a bit nervous the night before. I’m totally comfortable spending time alone, in contemplation (my thoughts are entertaining! LOL), so it wasn’t anything like that. I was mostly nervous about my safety and being alone. (I-choose-the-bear type of thing.) I knew I wanted to have this experience, so me and my deep breaths set out on the 25 min drive back to Fires Creek. At least it’s a picnic area and even though I got far away from the people sounds, I knew I wasn’t far and if I had to scream for help, someone would find me. I wish I had the reckless abandon and bravery of youth. At this age, I’m afraid, comfort and courage come from being prepared more than anything. I totally hear myself, its not like someone was dropping me off in the middle of the wilderness, but I grew up in the times of Adam Walsh when going shopping with your mom was a potentially deadly activity. Just something I observed in myself today.

So off I went, fully loaded backpack and chair in tow. I noticed that I took off pretty quickly and was kinda “covering ground” instead of actually paying attention. So, I had to check myself and slow my ass down. After having gone so far and back, I checked my timer and I had only been out 30 min. Oh boy, it was gonna be a long one at this rate!

I made a conscious effort to slow down considerably. I followed a simple trail and stopped often by the rushing creek to sit and simply BE. To observe – no, to witness. What jumped out at me is just how alive everything is. There is a constant snap, crackle pop! going on in the wilderness. Everything is humming and moving – busy living and dying – growing and shrinking. I noticed at least 8 different types of mushrooms.

The creek was rushing today. It was a veritable symphony of sounds. And it never stops – the water just rushes and trickles and boils and flows. All the different ways of the water and yet still the same water. So many parallels.

I had ample time to do a bit of meditation and journaling. Here’s some of what I learned today…

I am not who I thought I was, but I am exactly who I think I am.

I honor by body.

My body is trying as hard as it can to be healthy – it is always working and striving towards health.

I have been given more good health than most, and I must honor that.

I release the parts of me that do not serve me.

I am happy. I am healthy.

I can be equal parts active and restful. There’s enough time for it all.

I have all the fear and anxiety necessary to keep me safe. No need to add any more.

I can stretch and grow. I can continue to learn new things. I can still have the life of my dreams.

I trust my body and my body trusts me.

You must walk the land. Poems and pictures only go so far. You can feel the breeze, smell the life force of nature, hear the hum of life and death in harmony.

The sun heals.

The water cleanses.

The earth nourishes.

There is nowhere else to be but here.

The sun bathes me in a golden warmth.

I did spend some time listening to families play. After all, they are part of nature too.

Living the full scope of a human existence can be daunting. It can be joyous and playful and frightening and unendingly hopeful in spite of it all.

When the time comes, what regrets will I have?

Will they say, she lived well-enough? She was loved just-enough. She had just-enough success or she experienced just-enough sadness.

Will they say that she played full out? That she left it all on the field. That she was full of vitality, strength, courage, grace and most of all, love.

Will they say she sucked the marrow out of life?

Only more time spent living will tell what they will say when dying.

Fires Creek is the Soul Walk Project created by Graciela Valdes, FTS Certified Forest Therapy Guide, Elohee 2024 cohort. You can follow Graciela at gracielalaurent.com.